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wet scenes in The Northman


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Posted by Zonie on May 29, 2022 at 19:10:29

Yesterday I did something that had once seemed perfectly normal but that I hadn't done since 2019. I went to a cinema and saw a film. I went to Harkins Christown in midtown Phoenix. When I relayed this account on Gab, someone told me I was a brave man to go there. It didn't seem particularly dangerous, but maybe before the COVID-plague it was.

The cinema still had a "mask up moviegoers" sign, but it wasn't being enforced, and most people weren't wearing masks. With galloping inflation in many areas, I handed the ticket agent a $20 note, but I was pleasantly surprised that the matinee was only $8. Perhaps lack of demand has suppressed prices. I was shown some computer gadget allowing me to choose an assigned seat among those available. It was unneeded, as the theater wasn't crowded at all.

The film I saw was "The Northman." I had heard about it, ironically enough, from videos I had seen on Youtube. The film itself was mediocre. The story was based on an account by Saxo Grammaticus which Billy Shakespeare also used for his play "Hamlet," so the basic story line was somewhat familiar. There was quite a lot of gratuitous violence without the eloquent dialogues and soliloquies Shakespeare added, and in what dialogue there was, there was an annoying tendency to switch back and forth from actors speaking modern English to actors speaking Old Norse with English subtitles.

I was rather surprised by the wet scenes. In one scene some thralls captured in far away Ukraine are being landed in Iceland. The ship stays needlessly far from shore, and rather than wading ashore, they swim ashore fully clothed quite a long distance. Nobody is shivering once they get on shore. I guess the makers opined that the North Atlantic was warmer during the medieval climatic optimum.

Having been trusted to swim to shore, the thralls are then put in chains for their march into the interior of Iceland.

Later in the film when the hero manages to escape with a Ukrainian thrall with whom he fell in love, they manage to arrange a passage on a ship bound for the Orkneys. The hero Amleth (whence Hamlet), suddenly seized by an attack of Old Norse fatalism, concludes it's not proper to leave Iceland until some prophecy is fulfilled. When the ship looks to be about a mile from shore, he offers a ring to the captain to pay his lover's passage and jumps ship, swimming back to Iceland fully clothed. Again he isn't shivering when he makes it to shore. But if he is chilled he eventually has a chance to warm up by going to a sword fight beside a lake of hot lava.


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