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Bored, so I got muddy.


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Posted by Kayne on July 10, 2021 at 17:21:34

I was looking forward to the weekend after my first week back at school but was disappointed when I woke to hear rain pattering against the window and pulling back the curtain revealed grey leaden skies and steady rain. Not what I had been hoping for, or indeed what had been forecast. I got up and pulled on my Speedos for our usual morning swim grabbed a towel and joined the others for our daily exercise. I normally enjoy it, but just felt a bit ‘bleurgh’ about it today, if you know what I mean – it was mum’s favourite word for feeling a bit down in the dumps.

After the swim everyone went and changed and then gathered for breakfast at the big table by the pool area and chatted and said what they were planning on doing for the day. Uncle Dan and Aunt Mary were visiting some friends they had not seen in a while; Chris and Mari and their boys were going shopping and then meeting friends for lunch; uncle Greg and aunt Pam were going out to look at new cars as her car was driven into whilst parked a few weeks ago and the insurance company have declared it a write-off; Tom and Simon were heading off to Cornwall to stay with some friends for a week. So that just left me and Kevin at home as Katie was on a sleep-over weekend with some friends.

A very boring outlook. About an hour after breakfast as I was sitting by the pool reading a good book I had recently got (“The Last Day” by Andrew Hunter Murray) Kevin appeared from whatever he had been doing.

“You seem a bit down today, mate, what’s going on?” Kevin asked.

“I don’t know. Just bored, I suppose.” I said “I was just hoping it would be a nice day and then seeing it raining …….”

“OK – nothing serious then.” Kevin grinned “Rain has never stopped you going outside before – quite the opposite in fact. I suggest that you and I go out and have a go at the obstacle course – best cure for boredom is getting wet and muddy and having some exercise whilst doing it – we haven’t been down there for ages. Ready to go as you are?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” I said as I looked down at my black jeans, grey and yellow striped tee and trainers. Kevin was wearing his tattiest looking denim jeans, a grey sweatshirt and some old work boots.

I put my book down and stood up and next thing I knew Kevin had me in a bear hug from behind and was dragging me towards the pool before he fell in with me still in his firm grip. As I surfaced he was pulling himself out of the water before standing up on the side and grinning at me as I swam to the side.

“What did you do that for?” I asked as I clambered out and stood up.

“Just to get you in the mood for getting muddy.” he laughed “Come on, let’s go.” and he headed for the door.

He was right of course, I was feeling brighter already. Just being dripping wet and feeling the water draining out of my clothes had the usual effect and that’s always nice. So we squelched our way to the woods and the obstacle course. It was still raining quite heavily but it was not cold and it felt good to be out in the fresh air.

As we approached the mud filled ditch, we raced each other to be the first to flop into the mud and start crawling along. Kevin tried to grab my tee as I pulled ahead of him and we both fell forward into the mud together getting more than usually soaked in mud as we splashed down side by side. The mud is usually just over ankle deep but with the rain we’ve had recently it seemed a bit deeper than that. We crawled along and tussled with each other as we went trying to get each other more and more muddy, grabbing ankles, legs and arms and trying to pull the other back and then crawling over each other to get ahead; by the time we got to the far end we were both totally covered and soaked in mud, our clothes unrecognisable and just mud coloured. We had a good laugh at the sight of each other as we stood up ready to move on to the monkey bars.

Kevin went first but failed to wipe his hands clean and so he slipped on the third bar and fell into the muddy water below, butt first, and got fully submerged for a moment or two before getting to his feet. Totally drenched again but it had washed some of the mud off him. He stood and watched me as I had a go and, as I guessed he would, tried to jump up and grab my foot as I swung along over his head. I managed to get onto the last bar and swung back to give me momentum to jump to the finish platform and he managed to grab my foot, he gave a sharp tug and the bar slipped from my grasp and I fell on top of him, getting us both freshly drenched. We wrestled about for a bit trying to duck each other but in the end clambered out, breathless, laughing and dripping wet again. We sat down on the grass for a bit to catch our breaths.

“Happier now?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah, it’s turned into a good day – thanks.” I said.

“I’d forgotten just how much fun this is – it seems ages since I last did this. Has Chris told you yet what he wants you to do when you work during the summer?” Kevin asked.

“No, not really. I just assumed it would be labouring on site – you know, being everyone’s dog’s body.” I said.

“Well, we talked about it the other day and that was mentioned, but then he said he thought you could be more useful than that; that it would be a waste to get you simply labouring, so he suggested you might do us all a favour and get the stores in some sort of order and maybe come up with a simple inventory system so everyone could log their requirements out of the store easily and we’d have an up to date record of what’s in the stores at any one time.” Kevin explained “You’re a whizz with computers, better than any of us anyway, so you could probably devise a system that is simple to use and foolproof. What do you think?”

“Yeah, that would be a challenge – I think I could do that. I might ask uncle Dan for any tips as they must have a stock inventory system at his place – it’s probably hundreds of times bigger than you need, but the principles would be the same.”

“Great ……….why didn’t we think of that?” Kevin said.

“Probably ‘cos you’re just thick labourers ……….” I said as I leapt to my feet and ran off as Kevin made a lunge for me. He chased me to the next obstacle and caught up just as I reached the second log placed across the flooded trench and was about to clamber over it. We were both soaked again as this obstacle requires you to alternately climb over or duck under logs placed across the trench that is almost chest deep in water. He pulled me off the log and ducked me under the water three times in quick succession, I barely had time to breath and was spitting out and snorting muddy water when he let me go.

“That was for being a rude little b*****d!” Kevin laughed.

We finished that obstacle – probably the most strenuous to do, having to haul yourself and the weight of sodden clothes, out of the water and up over the logs which are head high and slippery – and moved on to the mud pit.

“Let’s go to the mud pit and just have a soak there – I can’t be bothered with the other obstacles, I always fall off anyway and they’ll be impossibly slippery trying in wet clothes and shoes.” Kevin had said.

So we just jumped in the soft oozing mud and sat down in it up to our necks and relaxed leaning back against the side.

“You know some fancy places charge a small fortune to their clients for a spa treatment that’s just like this.” I observed “Maybe we should start a small business venture – you know, ‘have a therapeutic mud bath in a tranquil woodland setting to the sound of the birds and the bees’ that sort of thing.”

“Oh, yeah? How much would you charge?” Kevin asked.

“Oooh I don’t know – a hundred quid, 50% discount for nubile young ladies ….” I mused.

“In your dreams!” Kevin laughed “I bet most of the ladies who go for that sort of thing are overweight, middle-aged and in need of redecorating!”

“Maybe we should just keep this to ourselves, it’s more fun that way …” I said as I reached a hand across to Kevin and pushed him under the mud. That started a wrestling match and we both floundered around in the mud until I was ducked under by him.

“Truce!” I shouted as I spat out mud and wiped it away from my eyes. After that we headed back to the house having wiped most of the loose mud off each other.

We arrived back at the house and were just getting the hose out to wash each other down when a strange car drove into the garage yard.

“Are we expecting visitors?” I asked Kevin.

“Not that I know of.” Kevin replied “Oh, it’s Greg and Pam.” he finished as they got out.

“Hi guys, been having some muddy fun I see.” uncle Greg said “Keep away from us!”

“Is that your new car, aunty Pam?” I asked.

“Not yet, I’ve got it for a few days to see if I like it. So far I do. What do you think?” Pam replied.

“Very smart – I like the colour.” I said. It was a metallic coppery colour.

“You can have a closer look when you are both clean and dry. Give me the hose and I’ll do the two of you together.” uncle Greg volunteered.

Once we were clean of mud we went in and changed into dry clothes and then uncle Greg took us outside to look at the car. It is a BMW M235i Xdrive Gran Coupe apparently. Almost a year old and it had been wrapped in the copper coloured film – if that’s the right way to describe it – by the first owner’s wife to match her hair colour. The guy was selling the car as his wife had now left him. It does look very nice and uncle Greg said it drove very nicely too. From the happy look on aunty Pam’s face when she was talking about it, I’d say she has already decided to keep it.




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