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Getting muddy helping Chris.

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Posted by Charlie on August 07, 2021 at 16:35:19

Chris got a phone call from a client this morning to say that he, the client, was annoyed to see that the company had left a van on-site over the weekend. Chris explained that they had not done so and asked for details of the van, as soon as the client said it was Ford Transit, Chris was able to tell him that it was not one of theirs as they only had Mercedes vans. He asked the chap for the registration number and checked on line to see if it was taxed and insured, which it was not, and then left it for the client to report it to the police in case it had been stolen and abandoned. Apparently it was completely empty and unlocked and there was no sign of any keys.

An hour later the client phoned again and asked if Chris could arrange to move it off site as it was blocking access to the building work area and the police had said they would not move it as it was on private property. So Chris said he’d go and have a look and see if it could be moved onto the highway, from where it could be reported as abandoned. He asked Kayne and me if we’d go along with him in case he needed extra bodies to help move it.

So we went to the yard and picked up the biggest of the company pick-ups, which has a front mounted winch, and then went to the site. It is an old barn that is being converted to offices but it is located at the end of a long driveway that is only rammed hardcore and gravel rather than tarmac. The actual site is a complete mud bath after the recent rains and the van had been left some twenty yards from the end of the driveway right in the middle of the wettest and muddiest section and completely blocking access to the main entrance to the building.

We splashed our way to the van and Chris jumped inside and started looking around.

“Sometimes people hide spare keys somewhere ……….” Chris explained “Bingo, like here ……” he said as he flipped down the sun visor and slipped his fingers into the pocket on the back of it “I wonder if these are what we need …..” and so saying he slipped one into the ignition and started the engine.

“I don’t think your going to move it very far, if at all.” Kayne remarked “Have you seen how deep this mud is?”

“That’s why you and Charlie are here and why we got the Merc with a winch.” Chris grinned “Let’s give it a go anyway, you and Charlie push from the front and I’ll see if she will move at all in reverse.”

So Charlie and I splashed through the mud and water and managed to get a reasonably firm footing as we prepared to push when Chris engaged gear and tried to reverse. It didn’t move more than an inch or two, despite Chris revving the engine a bit, what it did do was throw a remarkable amount of mud all over Kayne and me from the spinning wheels.

“Thanks a lot!” Kayne protested as Chris just laughed as he saw the state we were in.

“You should’ve stood more central instead of in line with the wheels.” Chris said “We can clean you up before we leave, no harm done.”

“Says the man who is still nice and clean!” Kayne retorted.

“I’ll get the tow line on this and we can drag it out of the mud. You two stay there and give a helping push when she starts moving.” Chris instructed us.

So we did as we were told.

I should of known that it wouldn’t go well, but I guess you live and learn from each new experience. We pushed as the winch took the strain but the van didn’t seem to want to move at all until suddenly it lurched backwards at speed. Kayne and I were caught off-guard when suddenly what we were leaning on wasn’t there any more and with feet well and truly stuck in the mud, we both fell flat on our faces in yet more mud and water. Chris was laughing so much as he stood to one side with winch control in hand, that he almost forgot to stop it before the van hit the front of the Mercedes, stopping just a yard or so short.

“You two are like something out of The Keystone Cops.” Chris laughed “That was a classic – which I’d got that on my phone. There’s a hose round the end of the building, go and get cleaned up whilst I move this van – I’ll be while, I’m going to dump it in the lay-by just down the lane. Back in a bit.” and with that he unhitched the tow line and then drove off in the abandoned van.

We were both so stuck in the mud that we both fell over a couple of times trying to extract our feet and then slipping over as we splashed to the side of the building and found the hose.

“Fancy doing the job really thoroughly and getting properly muddy before we hose each other down?” Kayne asked “Might as well have some fun before Chris returns.”

“O.K.” I said, just as Kayne threw a double fistful of mud at me. I retaliated of course and we continued throwing mud and pushing each other over until we were both soaked and completely covered. Kayne called a truce and then flopped down into the mud and water and started doing mud angels and smearing the mud over his jeans and sweatshirt as he did so. I did the same and we were thoroughly enjoying ourselves when we were suddenly interrupted by a loud voice.

“What the hell ………. ‘Get cleaned up’, I said.” Chris looked annoyed “Not ‘Go get even muddier’ ………. What is it with you two?”

“We got a bit carried away …. Sorry!” Kayne grinned.

“You got back rather quicker than we expected.” I explained.

“I rather guessed that. I’ll get the hose and then we can get going, I don’t want to waste the whole morning doing this.” Chris said as marched off to get the hose.

This time it was Chris’ turn for things to not turn out as expected. I don’t know what he did with the hose, but he came back ready to wash us down and when he pulled the trigger on the spray gun, nothing happened. He went back to check the connection and that he had actually turned the hose on and was only gone a few seconds when we heard a sudden sound of water spraying and splashing and a volley of bad language. Chris eventually appeared dripping wet and not at all happy.

“What happened?” Kayne asked, all innocently, as we tried not to laugh.

“Bloody tap connection broke.” Chris muttered “I’m soaked.”

“So we can see.” I grinned.

“Glad you think it’s funny.” Chris suddenly laughed “Let’s see how funny you think this is …….” and with that he rugby tackled me into the mud. Five minutes later Chris was as muddy as we were and thoroughly enjoying himself.

As the tap was broken we washed our hands and faces as best we could and then drove back to the company yard where we were able to hose each other clean and then wipe the interior of the Mercedes down, before drying off a bit in the washroom and then driving home. Having been hosed clean in cold water it was a welcome relief to warm up again by jumping in the pool and having a swim until it was time for lunch.

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