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A muddy day out.


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Posted by Alfie on January 23, 2020 at 15:32:21

Darren shares my house pretty much on the basis that he treats the place as his home without any restrictions on who he invites to visit or stay, with the exception that if wants to invite someone with whom he wants some privacy, then he lets me know so that I can make myself scarce for the evening or whatever, and he does the same with me.

A little while ago Darren had mentioned that he had invited his brother Nick to stay for Saturday night as they wanted to go to a trials day locally. He asked if I would be interested in joining them and after I had been reassured that I would not be intruding on a brotherly get-together, I accepted.

Saturday morning dawned dull and cloudy, again, and the forecast was for rain and possible gales - lovely just the weather for being out in the open, not! I walked down the road after breakfast to get a paper and some milk and when I got back, put the milk in the fridge and walked through to the living room to find Darren lounging on the sofa.

"Paper here, mate" I said as I dropped it down on the sofa next to him "What did you get changed for?" I said as I noticed he had swapped his blue jeans and red check shirt for grey jeans and a black and white check shirt.

He grinned and just as he was about to speak, a voice from behind me said "I didn't get changed, this reprobate is my brother Nick."

"Wow, you really are twins." I laughed as Nick stood up and put his hand out. "And stating the obvious, identical too. Pleased to meet you, Nick."

"I should have carried on being Darren, we used to have a lot of fun doing that at school, particularly when in the same uniform." Nick said "Nice to meet you too, Darren has spoken of you often."

"All about my good qualities, I hope." I laughed.

"I won't admit to him saying any thing bad." Nick grinned.

"Very diplomatic. Have we got time for a coffee before we go out? What's the timetable?" I asked.

Turned out we didn't have to be at the venue until 11am so sat and chatted over coffees. Nick lives and works in the north-west edge of London. He is a 'computer technology geek' according to Darren and apart from Nick agreeing with him on that Nick said remarkably little about either his work or home life.

"Can we take your car, Alfie?" Darren asked "Nick's is only a two-seater."

"Of course, no problem. You'll have to direct me as I've never heard of this place." I said.

"I've got a sat nav in my car, I'll go get it - I've already got it programmed into that." Nick said "Would that be OK?"

So I agreed to that. Turned out that the venue was a farm on a very muddy lane and the parking was an equally muddy field. Good job my old car is a Land Rover Discovery 3 inherited from my grandpa, it's almost fifteen years old but still going strong.

Darren had suggested that I wear wellington boots (so had put on some old jeans and a warm shirt, and would wear my padded jacket on top) and it was a good job that I did, for as soon as the muddy path from the car park field ended we were walking through thick mud or water with almost every step. Everyone else was slipping and sliding through the mud as well and some kids were deliberately splashing through any puddles they could find. It was going to be that sort of day, when you could worry about keeping dry or clean.

"So what exactly goes on here?" I asked as we walked along.

"Competitors drive modified or specially built cars, up and down slopes, across fields and streams or through ponds along a defined course." Nick explained "There are different classes of car, but basically the drivers score points for completing the course within a set time without stopping or having to get out and push and so on. It is very skilled to do it properly, as you'll see. The course is not something you could take your Disco around, however good an off-roader you are."

"Which I'm not - in fact I've never driven further off road than getting into the field to park here today." I laughed.

Nick had led us up a slope until we found a spot overlooking the course at a point where it came up hill and turned sharply around an old tree and then along the side of the slope before dropping back down hill and through a muddy pool before going across the field to the finish point. The whole track was very muddy and rutted.

We picked a spot next to the barrier, just a rope between metal posts, where we could see the track best. The first car to appear was a like a giant go-cart with a front engine and rear-wheel drive. The driver and passenger sat in seats open to the elements with just the tubular framework of chassis and roll cage for protection. The engine sounded like a V8 and Nick said it probably was. This slithered and scrambled its way to the to of the slope with mud flying from the rear wheels, the driver revved the engine and swung the steering onto full lock as he pirouetted the car around the tree trunk with all the motion being the car slewing its back end around as the front stayed barely moving, once pointing in the right direction he floored the accelerator and stormed off. We and the other spectators standing less than ten feet from the rear of the spinning wheels were showered with wet sloppy mud.

"What the f***!" I muttered as I looked down at my muddy jacket and jeans.

"Oh sorry" Darren laughed "didn't we tell you about the mud. That was just the start. Do you want to stand somewhere else, we can move if you like?"

"No you didn't and no this is fine, if you want to stay put I'll go along with it." I said as I wiped mud off my face.

"To be honest, the sport is fun to watch, but the getting muddy is why I join Nick - he's more into the cars. Dad used to compete and took us along as boys and we'd go home completely soaked and drenched in sloppy mud. Eventually if it wasn't muddy enough we'd roll around and dive into any muddy puddle before going home. Mum just gave up on even suggesting we get home clean for a change. Some of the venues dad competed at were regularly like a quagmire over the whole site. We'd be soaked to the skin before the cars even got going."

"Who was your dad's co-driver?" I asked.

"An old friend who had worked at the same repair shop as him. Harry also built the car they used, it was similar to that car we've just seen." Darren explained "Here comes another one."

After six or seven cars had passed by, all performing pretty much the same manoeuvre as that first one, I had given up worrying about getting muddy. I had turned away or completely around on a couple of particularly ferocious sprayings, so was wet through and coated in mud all over. There were a few fathers and sons watching and the boys were having a whale of a time getting the all-over mud pack treatment.

When things stopped for a lunch break, we joined the queue for a burger and coffee and found a relatively dry spot on a grassy bank to sit and eat. Nick suggested that we move viewing spot for the afternoon and asked if I minded getting a bit wet, possibly. I was already pretty much soaked so bravely said 'No, not at all'.

So we ended up standing next to the muddy pond towards the end of the course. We were about four feet from the edge and, judging from the tracks leading in and out of the pond, the cars could be driving six feet away at the nearest. Most of the cars went through relatively slowly and the muddy water was barely deeper than halfway up their wheels at the edges, so nobody got splashed. Then came the go-cart style cars and they just put their foot down and charged in at full tilt. We and the other spectators were hit with a wall of mud and water each time one of them went through, the driver and passenger must have been drenched too, but I wasn't really thinking about them at this stage. Darren and Nick were just laughing as they stood dripping wet. All the teenage boys gathered along the sides of the pond were cheering and high-fiving their mates as they got wetter and wetter, even the dads seemed happy to be drenched.

Some smaller and lower cars came through after that and when the second one got stuck, producing huge rooster tails of mud and water as the driver revved the engine in an effort to progress, Darren and Nick ducked under the rope barrier and jumped into the pond to help push him out. Coming back to the side afterwards Nick slipped and fell backwards ending up sitting in mud up to his waist. Darren thought it hilarious and he got a cheer from the other spectators; I was just thinking about how filthy the inside of my car would get on the drive home. As it was announced that the last competitor had driven by and the meeting was at a close, a whole group of the teenage boys ran to the pond and jumped in. There was a lot of pushing and shoving and a few dives as they all got completely covered and drenched. Darren was all for joining them but Nick pointed out that as adults they were surely beyond doing that sort of thing.

And then they both did it anyway.

After that a few of the dads and other adults did the same. On the way back to the car park we passed the pit area where a few competitors were packing up their stuff and putting their cars back on trailers. Someone had connected a hose and was offering to wash the worst of the mud off anyone willing to get colder and wetter than they already were, so Darren and Nick took advantage and got drenched in return for being a bit cleaner.

We drove home with the heater full - it had little effect in drying any of us - and then dashed into the shower where we stood under the hot water in our clothes until we felt warm and snug again.

Darren was the first to start pulling off his wet clothes, so Nick and I followed suit until we were all standing there in our wet boxer-briefs with our waterlogged clothes in a pile on the floor.

Darren started to pull his underwear off, and Nick looked a bit surprised.

"Come on guys, not shy are we? Two of us have seen each other naked numerous times since babyhood, and Alfie and I have seen each other naked, so what's the problem?" Darren asked as he dropped his undies, grabbed the shower gel and lathered his body.

I shrugged and did the same and then Nick followed. We ended up lathering each others' backs (and the parts we could reach, to be honest) and playing around with the gel and shampoo until we were all spotlessly clean.

I grabbed a towel and went to my room to get dressed in nice clean dry clothes - bliss - whilst Darren sorted out some dry things for his brother. He said later that they had always had a single wardrobe of clothes to share as they grew up at home so were used to wearing each other's clothes if required.

I have to admit it was a fun day. I haven't dared have a good look at the car interior yet, I am just hoping that the leather upholstery and durable trim won't look too messy and will be easy to clean when dry.




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